Well, you're backing yourself into a real corner here then.

Your old T didn't hurt you on purpose, she just wasn't a good match in the end. This T might hurt you in the future, she probably will, cos that's what humans do. But what helps the hurt is if it is allowed to be resolved. The reason it all still hurts about exT is that most of it was unresolved. The difference with this T is hopefully that she makes room for your feelings, that she allows herself to make mistakes and gives time and place for those mistakes to be resolved by both of you. And that's what will make the difference and make the hurt go away.