Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue
Well, you're backing yourself into a real corner here then.
Your old T didn't hurt you on purpose, she just wasn't a good match in the end. This T might hurt you in the future, she probably will, cos that's what humans do. But what helps the hurt is if it is allowed to be resolved. The reason it all still hurts about exT is that most of it was unresolved. The difference with this T is hopefully that she makes room for your feelings, that she allows herself to make mistakes and gives time and place for those mistakes to be resolved by both of you. And that's what will make the difference and make the hurt go away.
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I
know old T didn't hurt me on purpose, obviously. That actually makes it worse, not better. Because there was no malice; she just didn't see how her actions were affecting me, or she saw but couldn't do anything about them.
Ruptures in relationships are fine - when there's a solid foundation. At the beginning of a therapeutic relationship if your needs are too big then the T will just suggest you find someone else, because they'll feel unequipped to deal with that. I mean, I guess you're better off knowing sooner rather than later (logically), but I would still feel really rejected if this T told me that she probably isn't in the best position to meet my needs...