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Originally Posted by 1914sierra
I've honestly never really noticed whether T uses "why" questions or not, but my gut is that he does. I've never felt he manipulates his language much with me. I'm not one to feel judged by a "why" question though, so it wouldn't be on my radar. I like "why" questions myself. I work with "why" questions in terms of character motivation and language usage, etc. in my teaching all the time, so those kinds of conversations are just part and parcel to analysis, and what is therapy if not analysis of the self.
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I'm sure mine has used "why" as well, it's just a rule of thumb in the general training. It's not nearly as obvious as you might think unless it's a very new T. Plus once they get to know clients better, I'm sure T's will adapt their language accordingly.
Either way I think people manipulate language all the time, especially when discussing difficult topics. I know I have with my husband...I've asked my pdoc, who is male, how to word certain things so I don't put my H on the defensive and he tells me how re-phrase something but get the same point across. And it works- I was really surprised.