Well, I'll be honest. I'm an atheist through and through. I do not believe in some higher power... though if I was to entertain the idea, however remote that would be... I very much doubt such 'power' would have any real interest in us.
That's not to say that I don't want to believe... it just completely evades me.

With that said... I do on occasion go to church, 100% of the time in moral support of or under duress of my wife who is a devout Catholic. Like you I don't follow the doctrines of the whole, standing up, kneeling down... or even singing as I consider it hypocritical of me to 'pretend' for the sake of appearances.

However, when I go, I find it very peaceful... it's a time to collect my thoughts and think about stuff through in a situation where others around me are doing their thing.

I've even been to the odd chapel on my own, I love the statues, the stain glass of windows and the general ambiance of such places.

I don't think it's odd or desperate for you to pray. As said you are agnostic... so there is that scepticism on both sides of the coin... if it felt right and it helped you collect your thoughts... gave you a moment where you were open to possibilities and it eased your mind then good on you!

I am not mocking that in any way, I have a lot of respect for those with faith... just take at it at your own pace and see what unravels