Quote:
Originally Posted by bwebb
OK, so current relationship issues aside then, I see trust as a choice, not a feeling. Once I make the choice to trust, I just do. I don't stop trusting until I am presented with a reason not to. If i catch you in a lie or a deception by omission, then that is a reason to consider the strength of my trust. But if you are always upfront and honest with me I will continue to trust you. I think it builds up or breaks down over time. I cannot tell you how I do this, I just make the choice and stick with it. I think your journey to learn more about yourself and explore your feelings is a great start! Good luck!!
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As I mentioned earlier my mother was an alcoholic and displayed features of borderline personality disorder she was very inconsistent. She could from fine to totally angry or distraught in the blink of an eye. Now that I am an adult I realize that something either externally or internally was triggering these mood swings but as a child my child logic dictated if some action on my part immediately preceded her flipping out then whatever I done must have caused the issues. Not only that she would openly blame me for her moods, telling me I had ruined her day. I could never trust her, she lied she was inconsistent and her affection was never the same from one day to the next. She she was so changeable I think I must have gotten into the habit of trying to predict her moods and how I would be treated by her using outside indicators. Events, how much she had to drink, if she slammed the door when she came home or came in peacefully.
I think all this has led into me developing a habit looking at outside factors to determine how I think others feel about me or how they will behave towards me. I imagine this prevents from developing trust.