I forgot I was supposed to cover a shift today. So I was late. Very late. After two hours my boss calls me to see what the deal was. I apologized and rushed over to cover the rest of the time, but that doesn't matter. The boss pulled me aside and told me that if I did this again, I would have to be terminated.

I apologized. I said it was entirely my fault. I did not say it would never happen again, because if I had power over that, it wouldn't have happened the first time.

I will try as hard as I can to be an exemplary employee, but eventually I'll let my guard down and make another major mistake. It could be a month from now, or two months. I'm sure there's some other infraction I'm doing that I'm completely unaware about. Something that will be glaringly obvious in hindsight, but that I just can't seem to grasp now.

I'm beginning to hope I will be fired. The problem is not the job; it's me. I'm sick of my own incompetency. I'm sick of trying to improve, only to have all my efforts erased because I unwittingly do something else wrong.

I don't think I work enough hours to qualify for severance: my severance will be relief that I'm not being penalized for not trying hard enough or not wanting the job enough or having my coworkers hate me for being an entitled little snot.