I understand your frustration. My mental health facility has a scrict no benzo policy too. Anxiety is new to me the past couple of years. I have had depression my whole life but this anxiety thing I just could not handle. Over the course of a year I begged for something for anxiety. At first they gave me a muscle relaxer and told me only take one as needed. The problem was I had to take three before it would even touch the anxiety. So they said no more muscle relaxer because you are abusing them. Then they gave me hydroxyzine (Vistaril). What a joke. Its an antihistamine like Nyquil or tylenol pm. The first week it knocked me out like Nyquil would, then it didn't do a damn thing.

I have a really good relationship with my pdoc so that helps and he was just following the clinic policy. But finally I went in there all pissed and told him I believed it was unethical for him not to prescribe a med that we will know will work despite the risks. And I am a recovering addict with many years clean and sober and he knows it...so an even bigger risk. He gave in and gave me klonopin and refills. As far as I know he is not going to stop the refills. I take .5 mg in the morning and .5 mg at night to help me sleep. My anxiety is totally gone. I don't take more than that. I know if I take more then I will have to go without because they will only refill it on the day it is supposed to run out. Not like with other scripts where they refill them early and don't really count that close.

Lots of us here take benzos and yes there are risks. Do you have a psychiatrist or just a GP?