I started SI when I was fourteen. I'm twenty seven now, and even in the six years when I was functional and resisted it, I still thought about it at least once a day. I don't think I will ever have a day where it doesn't fly through my mind at least briefly. Because no matter what I'm feeling I'll always have the thoughts.

It's frustrating, much like an addiction. I'll be perfectly fine and then break a glass by accident, then suddenly my mind is imagining taking the broken glass against myself. Happened just three weeks ago but I actually followed through and I was only slightly down that day...it was just impulse.

I wish I had never done it in the first place but too late now I guess.