I actually just got discharged from my pDoc because I'm stable now (not functional, just stable). I don't think he ever understood how deep my delusions were and how much it affected me, not sure he cared. He's got an amazing reputation and all but I just never saw him... it was mostly my nurse I talked to and she didn't ask much about it. To be honest I thought schizophrenia too, looked closer to what I have. But maybe now I'll never know for sure, which worries me a lot because if I do have it, the treatment I'll need and resources to get better will be completely different than what's happening right now (well... they do have me on an anti-psychotic but for how long will they let me stay on it I don't know). But for other things too, not just the medication. Like, will I be able to work again? Will I be able to go back to school? And what if I get caught back up into a delusion or start hallucinating I won't have any idea and have no safety nets either. That kind of thing, it just really bothers me. And I can be so, so bad at communicating these things, I think this has been the best I've been able to before, it's weird.