I never put two and two together until this year when three times I was hospitalized and all three times it was because of an antidepressant. Now I will never take one again. I'll get ECT again before that. And I'll never listen to a pdoc who prescribes them anyway despite what I tell him/her.

No thanks to the psychotic mania.

Last year when my symptoms returned I felt as you did. I did grieve - grieved for the life I had lost and for the reality that was shattered. But a year later I can say I have at least stopped being so angry and resentful. I have not fully accepted the dx but I'm not angry about it anymore, which is a plus. And that was achieved through therapy, both individual and group.