Thanks everyone that answered if you 'enjoy' taking benzos. I got in a bit of an arguement with a psychiatrist that writes a blog- this one was 'is your klonopin or xanax killing you?'. I hope some of you read it. He really pissed me off, saying that patients with anxiety are 'rewarded' with benzos and then another guy disagreed with him he was so rude to- he told him to re-read the blog without his anger at someone who was putting down a drug that he 'enjoyed' taking. I told the dr. that I took issue with what he said, that benzos are not a 'reward' and that most people do not 'enjoy' taking the meds. He basically laughed at me and told me that if I really believe that most people don't enjoy taking benzos I need to spend more time in recovery forums. I knew I was right. I take xanax and have for the better part of the last 20 yrs. or so, and I have never 'enjoyed' it. I am ashamed that I have to take it. I try to taper off of it, and sometimes I'm ok for a while but the panic attacks always return and I have to either take it again or cease to function. I have NEVER felt 'rewarded' by a drug. I don't know what this doctor's deal is, but I despise him. He was so dismissive and conceited and he just reinforces my opinion of psychiatrists! (I know there are good ones, I just haven't ever met one!) These drs. that think they are so much smarter, know so much more than we do- I just want to punch them in the face! I wish he had to live one day in my skin, then maybe he would have an inkling of what it feels like to need xanax. I feel so angry! Anyway, thanks everyone. You've all once again shown me that we are the smart ones, the empathetic ones, the ones with hearts and open minds. I feel lucky to have you all to talk to.