Quote:
Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl
So I got a lot of answers. I left feeling loved - platonically - so I don't seem to have lost anything.
I'm fine about everything in many ways, and then I get a sharp stab of grief (I think that's what it is?) at my unrequited love and it floors me 
It seems really counter-intuitive to keep going back to this person who doesn't love me that way. Anyone else, I'd know what to do - hide their facebook, delete their phone number, avoid sending drunk emails. Avoid avoid avoid and then the sting of the rejection will go away. But in therapy it's we are told we can resolve it through working with the therapist? That sounds crazy. It's like repeatedly climbing back into the frying pan!
How do I work out if I'm nobly pressing on in working with her because there's a chance to do some great work, or if I'm just using that as an excuse to keep seeing her? I literally don't know! |
I'm glad you worked things out with your T and had such a good session.
I can relate to what you wrote above. I've had this problem ever since I started therapy! I don't know if it's therapy I want and need or if it's the T I want and need. If I'm going just to get my "fix", as some people used to tell me, then therapy is unhelpful. It just makes my attachment to my Ts worse. It does seem weird that I told my T 4 years ago that my goal was not to need therapy anymore.
Of course, having that need IS in issue, and probably the most important reason to be in therapy. So, in your case, the great work would be getting to not need her in the same way you do now, and not feelings such strong feelings. It is sort of a catch-22. I agree. I am finally working on the attachment issue in a way that I think is going to help me be able to quit therapy or at least be able to tolerate not seeing my T very often.
There are also other issues to work on in therapy, so I'm sure it's not ALL about your feelings for your T. My first T used to tell me "it's all one ball of wax"! So whatever gets worked on, other issues, probably relate to your feelings for your T, and your feelings for your T probably relate to your other issues. Your T will keep you on track with it, I'm sure. Mine tells me "it's not about me, it's about you" when I stray off the track!