Deep down I know that. Change is one of my panic triggers & this is the biggest step I've ever taken & I am constantly second guessing myself. I keep telling myself there's a life out there & I deserve to be happy. I'm so self destructive there's a chance I will put myself in a situation that is equally toxic. But, I have hope. I can better myself if I listen to my heart & have some sense. I will never know if I don't try. I do know that with him there's no happy ending and I deserve better.