Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamplighter
Hello again HH, thanks for responding again 
Ah I wondered about the issue of transference and how it panned out in the room – if it makes your T defensive (something I find unprofessional in Ts, but unfortunately all too common) then I can understand your working to pre-empt it in order to avoid causing ruptures. Must put a bit of strain on you though, having to monitor your reactions and feelings so that they don’t negatively affect T? I’d find that would just increase my feelings of anger and hostility.
Hey that’s good that you no longer blame yourself for the transferential feelings – I still struggle big time with all my feelings, bought into the line that said I am totally and only responsible for everything I feel – easily translated into ‘blame’. Ugh.
LOL glad what I said was of some help. Here’s a giant hug back  I hope you do manage to have a decent discussion with your T about your anger, and not having to hide it. If you do, could I be a pain and ask you to post about it? I’d be really interested to hear how that talk goes
Yeah T’s humanity might have its uses, but it can really get in the way of our healing I reckon. I don’t go to therapy to suffer the same crappy responses I get in the real world, I pay good money for a therapist to NOT be humanly affected by my issues and feelings, that’s what it’s all about as far as I’m concerned. So I don’t buy into the humanity excuse too easily – like my T saying in response to my upset and anger about his forgetting the project ‘people forget’. Well yeah, but I’m paying YOU T, to NOT forget... Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Anyway, thanks so much for taking the time to reply again, it was really useful to read what you wrote. (((((((( HH ))))))))))
p.s. I love your signature. All too true!
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Yes, it does get frustrating having to monitor what I say and really think before I portray specific emotions. It creates major imbalance. "Wait, is it really okay for me to show happiness, sadness, and tears? How could those be okay if anger is not?" Then I begin second guessing everything and completely shut her out, which is counterproductive.
Well your response inspired me to address the issue of expressing anger in sessions today.
So I did and I can't really report how effective it is yet since she just gave me the solution today, but at least I now have a solution to hiding the emotion! It's a start.
If you are curious on the specific advice she gave, I mentioned it (JUST for you
) in the most recent thread I posted. The thread has the title "T warmed my heart today" and I posted it below my original post so no searching necessary.
I totally understand what you mean about T's forgetting things. I don't have this issue with my Therapist, but I have it with my pDoc from time to time and it is very frustrating.