I feel sad, overwhelmed, anxious, and on edge today when I think about therapy. I know it has to do with the money problems I was talking about a week ago, and how my T offered me free sessions. But I don't know why it is causing so much anxiety and sadness. I want her to be there for me, but I don't want it to be at a cost to her. And I want to be able to talk to her about it without feeling like I might offend her. She hasn't been offended about this, so it's really just fears and projections, but it feels like a real possibility. I also feel extremely afraid, anxious, and sad about knowing I am going to continue to reject her help, unless she fights me a LOT. So I am looking at not seeing her for a few months. And that has me so anxious. I don't want to be abandoned, but I don't have a choice that is fair to her, and it's making me feel so ill to know that. I don't have any really strong support outside of her, and so I will have to spend a few months in a brand new place, surrounded by strangers and alone (I am moving, which is part of why I don't have the money for a few months), without her. And that's so overwhelming and depressing. I am a freaking adult. Why can I not deal with this? Why is this is difficult for me? I should be able to survive this just fine, and yet I have all these emotions and feelings and panic. I want to throw up and cry and throw things, but I am WAY overreacting. It's a two month break that comes as a result of dental bills and a move. I should be able to handle this, but I can't.