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Originally Posted by someone321
Have you thought maybe why actually you "mustn't" take your T's offer? Why do you have so strict rules with it? Could it be that you just don't want to accept that she really cares and that she's not a T because of a good salary but because she wants to help people, she wants to help you and she cares about you? I don't know but I think that would be the biggest problem for me, that she could really care... When you pay - you are the boss, you can control when you come, if you come, if you want to fire a T etc... when T decides to do sessions for free, it means that she wants to do that...
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I don't know if it's because I can't stand the idea of her caring, although that's a possibility. I think it's more because I feel like I should be able to do things myself. I should be able to handle life and manage my own problems. And yet, I can't, and so it's sort of a rebellion against my limits and weaknesses to do it anyway. I also just hate taking things from people because I feel like I will owe them something in return and I hate being indebted to anyone, and I don't feel worthy or valuable enough to accept such a gift from someone.