Unfortunately he may end up referring you. He really should have by now and it's only getting worse. Just try seeing a t that he referred if you need to at first. You probably won't like any new pdoc or T, because they will want you to stop seeing him. It's hard, because what may be best for you is exactly what you don't want. You have a lot going on right now and regardless of how good a person and therapist your T is, he is not helping you. But you have to sincerely want the situation to change for any treatment to work. Usually this kind of change will not be easy for you. But what you're going through now is so painful, I hope you get the help you need soon.