I truly can understand the fears. The thing I was reminded even lately is that our own judgments of how people perceive are not facts, they are just opinions and assumptions that can get us into trouble. Try to find if you have some true basis to go on for assuming those things and work with those before basing decisions on the tricks our minds can play with telling something that is untrue. It can harm us and harm our relationships with those around us, even with acquaintances if not kept in check. Look for the facts, not the untruths. Are they really being mean? Has actually someone done something to hurt us? Then act accordingly otherwise it is not fair to punish someone for something they have not done.

I can relate to being afraid of being skinny. It may be for a different reason or the same I don't know; however, to me bad things happen to me when I am thinner and I am having to fight that. Though I know logically it would be better to be healthier, there is a part of me that does not want that knowing that there is unwanted attention. It is knowing instead that we just have to take care of ourselves to do what is right for us and to get out of our own way, helping ourselves instead of hurting ourselves by keeping the weight on. The health risks outweigh the rest and are not worth it.

I wish you well as you find the right balance towards getting healthy and in working towards your goals. Good luck!