I was just recently diagnosed as having BP 8 weeks ago. The last 6 years of my life have been a living hell and I could really use some encouragement. I was really motivated in paramedic school but having a lot of anxiety so my dad sent me lexapro 10mg (he's a psych NP). Within a few hours I was completely manic and through the roof. Shaking uncontrollably, muscle spasms, tachycardia, hypertension, basically I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. I only took it for 8 days total before my mom took me to the ER. Ever since then it has been extremely hard to concentrate and get motivated, I hate feeling like this. I used to work out every day and I loved life.
I should note that after I had that reaction I could not sleep so I started drinking heavily because I just couldn't deal with everything. The not sleeping for days on end made me suicidal and it was awful.
Fast forward to a year ago when I joined the military, I've always wanted to join and I thought it would help me get my life back in a positive direction. I did really well in basic but a few weeks into AIT I was awake for 3 days straight and borderline psychotic. My roommate forced me to go to behavioral health. It has been hell up until 8 weeks ago when I met with the psychiatrist here at my permanent duty station. He explained to me that the reason I had that reaction to the lexapro is because I am bipolar and it "unmasked" the symptoms. I have been hospitalized 3 times since then and they have tried at least a dozen medications. Finally, they tried lithium with seroquel and it has been working really well. I actually sleep through the night and I'm not having wild mood swings or thoughts of suicide. The military sent me to rehab so I haven't drank in almost 2 months and I never want to go back to that.
Please tell me this gets better. It is still really hard to concentrate and I just feel very slow. I graduated college with honors and it is so hard for me to feel this way all day. Is there anything I can be doing to help my recovery? I have to have faith that the brain can recover and heal itself. I am really happy I came across this site and there are other people out there who have experienced the same things.
I really appreciate any input or advice.
Shaw-