For me it's metaphorically like food. Like having not enough money for a full and nutritionally rich diet, but enough to survive and just get by most days - so technically I don't 'need' her.. Then some days the hunger creeps up and I feel starved and need her with intensity and urgency, the thought of her leaving my life forever panics me, like I'm really famished but for nurturance. Then other days it's just kinda wistful, like wouldn't it be lovely to have really nice ice cream, but it's not a necessity.