I haven't seen that you've been back by recently lukeyeats, but if you happen by, I thought this quote from Richard Dawkins might be comforting in your trials.

"There more than just grandeur in this view of life, bleak and cold though it can seem from under the security blanket of ignorance. There is deep refreshment to be had from standing up and facing straight into the strong keen wind of understanding: Yeats's 'Winds that blow through the starry ways'.
from Richard Dawkins-'The God Delusion '2006 & 'A Devil's Chaplain '2003

Best of luck ~Down