It can be hard when we first start out in therapy to figure out how to tell our story and feel or relive our story and rationalize the loving of people who did some pretty crappy things to us (your mother throwing you out when you were 9 in the cold? My stepmother put a pair of panties in a doll suitcase and pushed me out the front door and closed and locked it on me when I was 5, suggested I go down to my girlfriend's house and see if her mother would take me in). My T taught we a great deal about that though, how we can love people but not like them, that that's okay. Our parents are pretty much all we have when we're young and we don't get any "variety" of upbringing, not many corrective influences to help us with our decision making and judgement. We pick up bad habits (like that we're bad on some adult's say so). We literally have to please the adults because there are no other sources of food, shelter, clothing, "life"? We're prisoners and if we get lousy keepers then it is harder when we get free to adapt to "real" life?

I certainly would go back. Your T knows all this, has heard stuff as bad as any you have to tell her; just not "your" particular stuff. But she has the advantage at first, she has been "out" in the real world for awhile and has learned who she is and how things are, and would probably love to help you with that? Go a second time, if only to tell her about your difficulties with going and worries about her and how you feel you are mis-representing yourself or your situation?