I feel awful today. Sick, shakey, exhausted. I don't know what happened- I haven't played with meds. I have had some asthma issues because of the stupid mold outside with all of the rain. Maybe the inhaler is making me like this? I'm also not sleeping enough, I know, but usually that doesn't bother me. I had a major panic attacking driving home from a restaurant tonight, and I'm still shaking. In the back of my mind is my mom's 5 yr death anniversary is coming up soon- maybe that's it? That's a whole long story in itself, she was bipolar and borderline personality and the meanest woman you'd ever meet. She died early, in her 50s of MS, and it was a blessing in a way but also ended my chance to ever have a decent relationship with her. No one ever did, but I thought maybe if I tried harder... anyway I guess it's bothering me more than I realized. I'm so tired.