I was with one person from age 15 to age 30. The only person I had ever dated. I believed it was true love, cosmic, mythic, eternal, all that stuff. I believed for a long time that love conquered all, that he was the only person for me, that we were meant to be, and that you should never give up on the person you truly love.

And then, eventually, there were too many problems. Or more properly, there was the same amount of problems, but they wore me down and burned me out. It didn't work. I'll never really stop loving him, I think, but I don't love him in the same way, and I would never be able to make it work for me, no matter how much I love him.

I've grieved over so many things--the plans we'd made that will never come to pass, the wonderful times we used to have together, the hurt that the divorce caused him, all the big and little changes of daily life, the promises we made and broke. But I have also grieved over the fact that our forever love was not forever, and that I no longer believe in this sort of mythic, cosmic love. I believe in love, but it is a love that is not untouchable by the pressures of the world and the fact that human beings are imperfect creatures who have needs they want fulfilled. And this loss of what felt like paradise, innocence, has been as devastating as much of the less abstract things I mentioned earlier. My ex has gone through the same journey, with the same grief. And it is immense grief. For a long time I thought I'd never stop crying. I spent days, weeks, months crying. There are still times that I am still overwhelmed with sadness.

But there are happier times, too, and the times of grief become less frequent. He is with someone else now, and so am I. Life moves on if you're ready to.

I've seen some of your posts before, so I thought perhaps some of this would resonate with you.