I am really strict about what I allow myself to call a need. I kind of limit it to oxygen, food, water, shelter etc. Then I have this punitive, belittling inner voice that chides me for being all spoiled and entitled about therapy.

When thinking about my kids I always consider attachment, the sense of being understood and cared about, a sense that the adults in their lives are on their side etc to be needs, not luxuries. I absolutely want them to know that I'm there for them day and night and I think they do know it because they are never the least bit hesitant or ashamed to ask. They don't apologize for having needs and they fully expect me to help them out whenever they deem it necessary. It's not a luxury for your parent to listen to you, believe you, accept you as you are and go to bat for you. A new bike is a luxury.

But I'm still far from a place where I feel that it's okay to want to be understood and listened to. I'm mean to myself for wanting that because I'm quite ashamed of it.