Quote,

'I hate crying, this isn't what I do. I lock it all inside, don't let anyone see. And now I'm just falling apart. Looking at the means that I allegedly don't have. I don't know that I can make it. Not this time.'

no advice just sayin you're not alone in feeling that. It seems like something i would write. lately i too have been letting it out instead of locking it inside and i'm not sure why. Perhaps it's since i no longer care, at the point of no return.
hope the tide turns shortly.
(((((hugs))))))