I have been so stressed beyond belief for several years. 5 years ago my husband was convicted of something he said he did not do. He is a sex offender. I am being honest here. At first I believed him when he said he didnt do it. Though he told the judge he did only to avoid trial and that the lawyer lied to him. He spent 5 years in prison and was just released to a halfway house.
I have become used to being on my own and do not know if i actually want to stay. But i have supported him. He violated his parole first thing when one day he came to my house while i was at work and accessed porn on my pc. I did not find out until he was asked to take a lie detector test. he admitted to it.
a few weeks ago I came accrossed an autobiography he wrote in prison for his therapist. In it he said he committed the crimes.
Now since I read this, I have been mulling over past memories, situations and conversations. I am beginning to think he really did them and I do not believe him anymore.
I have been angry about having to give up my personal time on days off when he keeps wanting every sat and sun spent with him on leaves. He goads me into coming to my house when he isnt supposed to. than other instances have angered me.
I have been trying to determine if i even still love him and should get a divorce. I have been trying to get up the guts to ask him straight out for the truth if he did what he is convicted of. But the last time i tried to talk to him about just the leaves and my personal time, he said he felt i was forcing myself to come on leaves. i said i wasnt. he said he felt like he was losing me and said if i didnt want him to say so. he said if i left he would not care if he went back to prison. he always does this, threatens he will kill himself or just go back to prison. but it guilts me anyways.
i am at my wits end and just wanted to ask peoples thought on this.
thanks