Haven't ventured here in a bit. Easy to deny when you haven't yet been diagnosed. But I can't take it anymore. Tuesday, at my appointment, I'm bringing it up. I am this time. I'm sick of this voice in my head. I'm sick of hurting so much. I'm sick of arguing back and forth with myself about whether eating is worth it or not.

I'm scared. Terrified. Because I know it will change everything. But if I am to ever fully recover, honesty is crucial. And looking at journals from the past year, looking at pictures... I cannot deny what I did.

Deep breaths. I have to remind myself to take them. I've been taking baby steps since January. It's time to take a leap.