Jinn have you been written on a list for marriage counseling? If you really feel divorce is right you should do it and we will all be here for you, even if you get doubts afterwards.
I know I have absolutely no experience with love or marriage because I never experienced either- but I know this - if a person had stuck by me for 19 years I would be careful to let him go, and I would fight to make it work.
This man has lived 19 years with you, that is more than I have even lived. You must have so many memories together. You must have gone through so much together. So much joy and so much pain. Be sure to part on good terms at least.
And what ever you do we're still here for you, as I am sure your kids will be and you friends and family.
If you think you would be better without him then I think you should leave.

(((((((((((((((((Jinn)))))))))))))))))))