Quote:
Originally Posted by SoupDragon
l don't deal well with emotions, l either can't feet them, or become orerwhelmed. l thought seeing T would get rid of them, that l would be able to live my life without having to feel them as they felt pretty pointless to me. However the complete opposite has happened. T encourages me to notice them, accept them and to be "curious" about them, that they exist to give me a message.
l would still rather not have to deal with them (they are very inconvenient!), but l do try to remember as my T says, that they are not wrong, but they are just as they are.
l am sure it is usual to have these feelings at termination and maybe it would be more unusual to feel nothing at this point, so I am also sure your T may be expecting or at least not thrown, for you to have these feelings.
As you only have a few sessions left and not in a situation to start with someone else, l would tell your T. You could then work through the feelings and also explore what you can do for support going forwards.
And well done for graduating 
 Soup |
Thanks Soup, this made me shed a few tears.
First let me just say that I feel the same way! I either can't feel emotions when I think that I should, which confuses me, or I become overwhelmed by them and can't seem to control them. I am weird about my emotions- I get embarrassed for having any, and my T has mentioned before that I should try to be more comfortable with my feelings. I have always liked the idea that feelings exist to give us a message, though I do forget about that from time to time, so thank you for reminding me. I think I have been judging all of this as me being difficult or dramatic, when maybe they are just telling me how important she is to me.
I think I will tell her, and I hope that she will, as you say, at least not be thrown. It seems to me like she is trying hard to put a positive spin on our end, and she's downplaying some of my emotions. I don't want to upset her by looking at it so negatively, and I don't want her to feel like her work didn't amount to anything, or that her work just hurts people in the end. But I can't help feeling devastated. Thank you for the help, Soup.