I think if you've worked with a T for any amount of time, the T begins to know you. T will know what you can handle, and can begin to see patterns that we might not see.

When I bring up a topic with T, sometimes I need to talk a little about it (not necessarily 'complaining' but sometimes I tend to hyper-focus on something less painful because I don't want to work on the tough stuff). Friday, she said, ok, I'm glad you told me (after we spent about 5-10 min on it) but we aren't going to stay here.

However, she and I have defined goals - and she helps keep me on track because I do have a habit of distracting or deflecting.

I have a friend who I could classify in this category of 'help-rejecting complainer' - she goes inpatient in psych unit, gets meds changed, and upon discharge she stops taking meds, she continues to complain about how no one ever listens to her and how wronged she was/is by everyone. It's always the same story, only the players change occasionally. Though I can see she interprets things incorrectly sometimes which I have personally witnessed and tried to help correct - yet it's rejected. Always.

Her complaining only serves to keep her stuck in her misery. If/when it's challenged she feels attacked and says people are blaming her for her abuse...

It's a different dynamic though when you're a T versus a friend. A T sees the help-rejecting complainer 1-2 hours a week. There are already built in limits to the relationship. Friends on the otherhand, can become extremely draining, as they are certainly not limited to 1-2 hours per week unless you specifically put that limit on the relationship (which of course leads the person to feel rejected again).