oh Canders.......you articulate your "place" so well, i can truly identify. I can identify so much that I cannot say a damn thing to assuage your fears and frustrations and I wish that i could.......I am just so sorry, and so sad that you are feeling this way. Unraveling and I'm doing it to with the old coping tools......just want you to know I care and i hope for you to find a happier place.....