Hi, do you think that you could find ways to feel good about yourself which aren't as dependent on being loved? I'm not saying being loved need be a bad thing, or that you shouldn't feel good about yourself in being loved, but it would be good if you could feel good just for being you.
Perhaps reflect a bit more on your good qualities (things that mean something to you) and there will be some!! And on your achievements, your postive memories, things you've done, hopes, dreams..........
The "desperate" bit, maybe that depends on how deep it runs.......the effects when/if you feel you haven't got that "love", the measures you go to try to find that, the positions you put yourself in in order to get/feel it??
Then you know, insecurity, lack of confidence, lack of self-esteem, not feeling valued can really help trigger the "I need............". So perhaps have a think about things which may have made you feel like this, challenge them a bit andddd.........back to the focus on your good qualities, achievements etc.
The intolerance to "noise", what do you think?? Could it come from the anxiety? Depression, which can make it hard to keep focus anyway? The social aspect, you're maybe a little less comfortable with at times? Pressure/stress in your life? Although sometimes it can be a combination of things. Maybe "try on" a few ideas and see if any feel just a little way to feeling "right"?
And naturally.....if you can minimize some of the noise around you........I know you may be really limited in this......but every little helps, right?
About the burn though, you did say that it might be a third degree burn, and putting a cigarette there for that long........Have you had it checked out medically? It does sound pretty bad, and hey, even the risk of infection......If you haven't already, get it checked out, please.
Alison