When I want to go off on someone these days I divide them into two types: either they are the exact person I want to go off on (your manager) or they are secondary and did not cause the problem (useless government clerks :-) The secondary people might try to help me if I hang together and explain the problem and/or actually listen to what they are saying. I don't always listen too well and surprised myself a couple days ago when I called to complain about my email (now operated by Google even though it is not gmail) and the person on the phone told me I had to contact Google and I "got it" (even though it is administered by another company it is operated by Google so gmail instructions were what I needed).

The primary difficult people though require I really pay attention and know myself well but also allow me to get curious/clever/humorous. If you do not have a phone, for example, I would have said something like, "Really? I don't have a phone, I wonder what you could have seen?" all curious like you believe them but. . . not really. LOL