I think my mom is right when I'm a waste of life. I may be smart in school but I effin' suck when it comes to communication with other people and understanding simple orders.

Last Friday night, my friend and I were going to volunteer at the last shift for a concession stand, so we planned that her dad was going to take us because my brother had a basketball game. Well, then my mom changed the plans: she and my brother would go with someone else to his game and then my friend's dad would drop us off. Being a simple-minded person I was, I could never solve mix-ups and complicated situations in life, so I was an idiot of messing this plan up. I ended forcing my dad to leave my friend's house and to go with my friend's dad who had come back from shopping or working.

My mom now just yelled at me for being a motherf***ing b*itch I was, and how anyone would be that stupid and slow to not realize anything. She really wants to get rid of me, and I would gladly accept that departure. I don't know what to do! I really want to talk to someone about my mental problems. I don't know if it's lack of sleep or maybe depression! I can't be the young, healthy, alert, beautiful girl that my mom always wanted. I mean, there are most times when I am super clumsy or stupid that my mom and dad say I should kill myself. I think I should, ever since from 5th grade, but I thought, "I'm not letting these murderers take my life..."

What should I even do at this point? Why do I feel like I need a brain scan or something?? I want to be smart like others, not just in school.