I'm always a little bit repelled from people who are very expressive with intense emotions. Mostly because my mother was like that and invasive with them (and insensitive to my emotional needs). If she detected that I was feeling embarrassed by something she was saying then she would persist and get louder or whatever so I'd feel really exceptionally embarrassed. Then she would further embarrass me by laughing at my embarrassment. I guess I'm a bit over-controlled with my emotions in consequence. I don't much like it when people are (what I perceive as) under-controlled. I can be under-controlled at times and I surely beat myself up for that later.

So I think that I'd cringe from her a little (I'd try and mask that) if I found her to be overly expressive. But I guess it is hard for me to know what is going on...

> Am I supposed to aspire to being that open? I don't know if I'd think it was a good thing or a bad thing.

Lol. I hear you there :-) For all you know... T is trying to help her work on validating her own emotions rather than expressing them (for others to validate). Who knows... Really ;-) It could be that her 'helpfulness' is a defence against disclosing herself. It could be that the emotions she does display (such as the transference love) are similarly defences against stuff that goes deeper for her. I'm just saying that in the sense that it really is impossible to say who is showing the most progress or whatever... It isn't like a race where you can measure people one against the other. It is about a gradual unfolding of YOU.

> As far as jealousy, I think I'm jealous of the fact that our therapist will know that she loves him. With me it'll never be a certainty

That is your decision. Maybe what she has done... Is opened up a new possibility to you... A possibility where you tell him how you feel (with respect to the feeling of love). Maybe that possibility is creating anxiety?

If you are thinking 'I would never ever ever ever ever *tell* him in one million years' then I really and truely do have lots of sympathy. But my question for you is: Why not? Why don't you tell him?

Sounds like an extremely productive / useful therapy group to me!!

:-)