Hi Girl.

I am so sorry...I don't have words to express how...vile...this guy is to do something like what he did, and then to add this to it. His action, both past and current, to me speak of something deeply rooted in his psyche... referring to you as"it" is his way of dehumanizing the person he has wronged to feel better about his actions. If he can't see you as human, it doesn't seem so bad on his end. It's wrong, of course, but...that's the "logic" behind it.

As far as you go, YOU are NOT an it. You never have been nor will you ever be. You are a human being, and thus deserving of the love and basic respect that should be afforded to all people. You are BETTER than a mere "it," FAR better. I would submit that if anyone here could be labeled as an "it," it's him...in my eyes he let go of his humanity a long time ago in doing what he did to you, but that's perhaps my anger towards him speaking.

I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again. You have survived one of the most heinous things one person can do to another, but you're here, doing all you can to try to move past it. If anything, that at the very least speaks to me of an incredible courage on your part. You should be proud Girl...no, things aren't easy in moving past it. I doubt they will be. But you're trying...that mere fact shows a great deal of strength, certainly more than this...parasite...at your softball game has or will ever had. You're better than him...granted, I've scraped things off my shoes better than him, but you're a strong, courageous person doing their best to move past something of such a magnitude. For that, in showing such monumental effort...you have my respect, now as ever.

In regards to your solution...the only thing I can say to that is that such a thing only robs you of the opportunity for things to improve. You deserve better than that. Have you anyone you can talk to if you feel like that is becoming...tempting, I suppose? Parents? Teachers? Friends? Guidance counselor? At the very least, I would offer that if you need anyone to talk to, you're always welcome to PM me at any time. I'll respond as quickly as I can, but I can't offer immediate feedback all the time thanks to classes. That's my only reservation there...otherwise, I welcome hearing from you.

Don't let him get to you Girl...his opinion is worth as much as he is. Less than nothing.

Hugs Girl. Know you're in my prayers.

Hugs,
Harley