Oh bother. So much negative at the moment. Hang in there. It sounds like things may need to change for you and the family. Please ask for help when you need it. I can not offer much in the way of assistance as I am single, 40 and have never had children. I do know that your son maybe going through a phase, crying out for help due to the frustration he is seeing at home or might really think he is gay. Now is really not the time for the hubby to be going off the deep end. Find strength in yourself. Call social services and speak to someone in detail. Let them know your issues if you are sure the hubby is not going to better himself.