Had a horror few days again, that time of the month, but got through it without going inpatient. The OCD was out of control, I was obsessional about going crazy, not realising that it was a symptom, that sent me crazy! Im glad I am out the other end. I have a lot of "whats the point" thoughts but just one foot infront of the other doing everything I need to do as I have done the last few days.

Being really aware of my mental filter, only letting in quality information. Sometimes I just want to veg out and obsorb crap into my brain so I let myself have a few minutes a day "off".

The house looks like a bomb hit it after the weekend, so a whole lot of cleaning ahead of me. Im going to take it easy and get through it at my own pace. Today was supposed to be my "rest" day after such a full on week last week, I wanted to recuperate. Trying to link the two... Cleaning is self care, which is a good way to recuperate... Thats what Im telling myself. Getting there one thing at a time.

I will get through this day despite the "I dont want to do this (life) anymore" and "This is way too hard" thoughts.