For years I have struggled with a constant feeling of worthlessness. I feel that I am worth less than any others around me, and that my wants or needs should never be put before another's. Everything I do feels like I did it poorly, that someone else would have done it much better.

I'm always afraid that I annoy people, at all times. Any time I talk, laugh, work, anything, I'm afraid I'm annoying them.

I'm 20 years old, never had sex, never kissed a girl, never had anyone even remotely interested in me. I've been bullied, beaten, and treated like trash. I don't even trust my parents enough to tell them how I feel. I have very few friends, but mostly internet friends. I do have a job, part time produce clerk at a grocery store. When I'm not working, I'm gaming, which has helped a bit, since it allows me to escape, but recently it hasn't been working well.

I did the Sanity quiz thing, and my self esteem score was a 100, so that's obviously the problem, but no matter what I do, I can't seem to even slightly raise my self esteem.

I just needed to get this out there.