Kids provoke their parents. It's what they do.

It's the parent's job to try to hear what the child is trying say with their "bad" behaviour.

Maybe you should have said this:

"hey, you know guys, I'm feeling angry at what is inarguably immature and abusive behaviour on your part. I would appreciate if you worked harder to listen to me. Also, I think maybe you'd benefit from therapy and parenting courses because you're not responding to me with the empathy that is every child's due. Can you organize that for yourselves and let me know how you plan to start implementing your new skills? I think seven days is a reasonable deadline."

Why on earth would you not have thought to phrase it that way at 9???

Yearning, it is stuff is painful. You put trigger warnings everywhere so you know that. It's painful because it's abusive. Bratty behaviour doesn't necessitate trigger warnings. You did not ask for or deserve this is any way. Here's an assignment for you: go to a park this summer and watch good parents interacting with their kids. You'll see how they handle being provoked. They don't retaliate against, humiliate or violate their children in the process.