Well, I guess it might be a stretch to say I deserved it, since they had the choice to be the bigger person - but so did I, and I definitely provoked it. I did some really crazy things as a kid that if I hadn't done wouldn't have resulted in being hurt. Like this one time I wanted to talk to my father about something (probably something anxiety related, since it usually was) and he was really not responding well - he was just repeating everything I said back to me in a really mocking tone, and then he was like, "Okay, I'm going back to work, bye." And I was like, "No, you're not going to work; you're going to listen to me."

It was not your place to be 'The Bigger Person' you were a child.
Your father not responding to you, then mocking you like that, he was wrong not you. No wonder you became frustrated and angry.
My father rarely responded, he would ignore me. One day in frustration I kept repeating the same thing over and over, getting louder. In the end he swung round and belted me on the ear.
Did I provoke that? I suppose so. But why did he always ignore me, like I wasn't there. Its disrespectful, emotionally abusive. If I did that to someone at work or a friend I would soon be in trouble.
So, you are not at fault, parents are there to listen and to 'parent' their children.

My friend was put in care by her mother, she says she was a terrible, terrible child and her mother couldn't cope with her. I have never seen anything about her that is 'terrible'.
I don't think she was terrible at all, I think her mother told her she was to shift the blame from herself (being a crap selfish mother) Her mother did what many selfish people do, blame the victim, scapegoat them.

Your T will not change her mind about it not being your fault. Nothing you have said here makes me blame you at all.