Hi there. I was debilitated by benign paroxysmal positional vertigo for 3 years. 1 year into it I developed agoraphobia and panic attacks, so I ended up being in my flat all the time for 4 years and having no life outside. I went back to work in 2005. I rarely have panic attacks now. I deal with some anxiety, but it's not as much of a struggle as it used to be. I have still have a few phobias that I'm working on, but I'm doing pretty well.

The thing is, I haven't dated since before I got sick. I was in a long relationship up until about a year before I got sick. My ex-boyfriend is still one of my best friends. I spend a lot of time with him. He knows everything about me, never judges and I feel so comfortable with him. But I want to have a relationship -- not with him -- but with someone else. I'm almost 37 and I want to get married and have children before I get too old to have children.

I recently started a new job and am meeting a lot of people. One man asked me out and even though I wanted to say yes, I panicked and said no. I'm really worried about getting to know someone new. I have made new friends since being sick, but having a relationship seems very scary. I'm very confident and outgoing in so many ways. I have a very good job and I LOOK successful. I have opened up to a few new friends that I had agoraphobia and they're shocked when they find out. I don't think it changes how they feel about me, but I think it would be different in a romantic relationship.

If I start dating someone and get to know them, the subject of why I was out of commission from 2000-2005 and why I take medication will eventually come up. I'm wouldn't want to keep it a secret or lie about it. I'm afraid that it would scare a man away from me, though. I'm worried about going to all the trouble of getting to know someone, opening my heart to someone and then having them get freaked out and back away from me when they find out about my struggles with mental illness. I know there are no guarantees of not getting hurt in any relationship, but I have never been this nervous about dating before. This stuff was easy when I was in my 20s. Everything is different now, though. I'm older and I've been through an experience that most people wouldn't understand.

Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you handle it?