thanks for replies i feel that my brain /thinking whatever it is! has slowed i find it hard to motivate myself the worst is the confused thinking i cannot think straight consistantly if i was to act on ideas i have it would cause me to self destruct,only when i think a little clearer do i see how confused i get, i feel my depression has never been fully healed and i live with the after effects of each depressive episode ,i've had depression full blown on and off for 20 years but had dysthymia most of my life. i'm sure something in me has changed- at one time i was a police officer in an inner city area now i find it hard at times to boil an egg!