I feel empowered right now, and wanted to share it in the moment while taking a break from my depression saga, and before I take another blow to the chin.

This morning when I woke up, I felt like crap on toast. I was behind schedule, feeling gross, still reeling a bit from the comments my wife made last night that became another nail in the coffin for me as we grow closer to divorce.

But I had scheduled another meeting with my former professor, and as underprepared and late as I was, I kept it. We caught up a bit and he soon asked how I was. I shared some updates but through our conversation I once more felt hope breaking through and that his confidence in me and ideas for how to get myself back on track were so refreshing to my soul. I also had a cup (and then two) of coffee, which I have been cutting back on and also strategically planning when I do have them. (There is a study now on how caffeine can impact us negatively or positively depending on the time of day and how it coincides with our circadian rhythms. You can read about it here.)

So right now, I feel like I have hope, I am capable, I am making progress, and as I was heading back to my counseling appointment I am--dare I say?--happy. My prof also asked me if counseling was tiring me. I thought that was an interesting question because people generally think that counseling is supposed to make one feel better afterwards--like a shot in the arm. I think the reality is that effective counseling will me more like physical therapy sessions or a shiatsu massage that will make you feel pain and discomfort, yet the restorative work is happening underneath the surface and often after the session is over.

So in summary: talk with people who believe in you and enable you to make positive change (not just people who enable you to whine and complain), and take a natural booster at a time when it's effectiveness peaks.