I tried. I really did.

I just don't know what else to say as I know you would be depressed about the issue and I am sure it took a bit of courage to come right out and explain the issue even sharing a timeline with the forum.

But, I hope you can find that golden shower of joy you need to come from this and get out from under this dirty brown funk you find yourself in. Sometimes emotions can be built up and hard to process and you have to bare down to release them. Other times they just come blasting out of you and all the wetness and slime (from crying) is more than a Kleenex can bare. For now, I say Flush those bad emotions down the drain and wipe off the grimy bad feelings so the real you can shine on without ridicule and apathy!