I mean that you may have to chose between a man who is nurturing and a man who you find to be exciting to be with. Those two things don't usually come in the same package. I think you've already found that out, haven't you? These are your words: "most of the men I get with are emotionally unstable in some regard and end up hurting me or abandoning me." You were smart and insightful to make that observation. Now apply what experience has taught you. (Not easy to do . . . I know.)

I'm not saying you have to go be with someone who is a total drag. You do have to pay less attention to whether or not someone bores you from time to time. Pay more attention to "Is this a nice person who cares about me?" I was a lot like you, and I rejected a lot of nice average guys to end up with the colorful, charismatic type. The life I have had and still have is not what I would wish on you.