I think this is sort of a self-confirmation question, but I want to know for sure.

After a person quits, are they supposed to NOT feel the "need" for cutting anymore? Or are they just stopping themselves out of sheer willpower?

I have quit, and although I quit (for about more than a year now), I still WANT to cut. I don't understand. I felt like I went through hell when I forced myself to stop, but am I supposed to heal to the point where I don't feel the need for it anymore? It sounds right but I don't see how I can stop feeling this way... If I have to deal with these urges all my life then I'd like to know that I have to do so. It gets.....tiring.

So far, I can't help but fall into depression from time to time. I do wake myself up in the end, but dealing with it alone (especially when I don't want anyone to know) is wearing me out. I admit I once again hurt myself greatly last month, and at this I am alarmed, because it indicates that I'm losing the control over my addiction.

Am I on the right track? Am I quitting the wrong way? I don't understand...

PS - This is a technical question if anyone can help me (Yes, I am clueless about computer and such ^___^? ). Why am I marked as a "Visitor" instead of "Member"? I thought I was a member a long time ago?

From Breathing

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