MY BI POLAR REALITY CHECK
I'm 36 years old and finally trying to take control over my diagnoses. I would always use, and self medicate to lessen my symptoms. I deal with big polar with delusions, rapid cycling, paranoia, racing thoughts, loss of appetite,etc.. I hope I can help someone else out while also looking at this page for my own reality check.

I was diagnosed ADHD when I was in high school. I wasnt really good at school and I also had social anxiety. I did had friends and I come from a good family. My bi polar wreeked havoc on my family and relationships. My first hospitalization wad in 2008. I was put on adderall and ever after that I became worse. I was put on,cymbolta,zoloft,prozac,lithium,geodon,zyprexa,latuda,buspar,
tegretol,reperdol, serequoll. Problem is I never followed through with treatment and became more involved with self medicating.

My drug of choice is opiates. They relieve my symptoms but life sucks an addict is difficult. My thought was why not use if I'm gonna feel like **** anyway. I haven't donrpe heroin in almost 2 years. From 2011 to 2014 I was drinking about 15 beers a day so I wouldn't have to feel so up and downb but I drank so much I started into delusion. I have additional threads but I made this one because many big polar people have substance abuse. I'm so happy I found this site.

I rather just follow one thread then a whole bunch. I found some images and I was wondering it anyone else was able too do that. I Started using moodtracker.com which I think is a very good site because of the diaries you can keep daily. I have a therapist which I go to twice a week and a pdoc which I go to every month.

PRESCRIPTIONS TAKING- XANAX 2 MG AS NEEDED, Subutex 2mg

My doctor also put me on Zoloft, but I'm scared because people have had bad experiences on it. He also put me on ability, which I heard is really expensive. I go back to him in a couple of weeks. maybe Zoloft would be good for me. who knows, since November no delusions. I think the isolation is whats making me feel like this. If your isolating all the time and you have to teach your body by taking baby steps. Some days I'm so depressed I can even shower it shave.. on moon tracker I set my goal this month to brush my teeth everyday, and I havent missed a day.

The brain, I found this very interesting

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