Ah my counselor made me sign a contract too. I honestly didn't see why he thought that would stop me killing myself. I'm just scared of being hospitalised. I don't want to be at all. and if I want to die I should be allowed to. Well I've been close to killing myself a few times but not recently. I get what you mean though. I guess there is intent on my suicidal thoughts a lot of the time. Right now I don't want to kill myself but if I died I wouldn't be sad.